yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
