I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Help. Why am I so naked?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
