oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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