Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
