I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
