I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
