this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize