Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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