I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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