Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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