Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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