maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize