I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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