Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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