dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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