sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
