Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
