You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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