I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
