I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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