this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
