how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
