good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
