Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I love you.
Bad choice
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
