I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
