My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
