I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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