Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
