He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
