You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
