So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
