is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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