guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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