I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
