No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize