She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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