What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
