i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
