I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize