You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Come on in and take your pants off
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