i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can't trust your balls anymore.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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