Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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