hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
