Sponge bath it is.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
