so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
