3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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