well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize