Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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