i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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