My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
