So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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