You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize