You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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