We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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