is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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