The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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