hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
