Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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