i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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