why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
