who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
