It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
