Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
